I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
