I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
