You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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