Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
