i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He kissed a someone with a penis
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There's always time for handjobs
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
