I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize