PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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