In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
