remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm sobbing to NWA
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
