From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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