You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Someone signed my nipple.
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