didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
