On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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