I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have post one night stand depression
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