i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
