shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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