I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
