Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The best revenge is premature balding
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
