She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
