Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
