So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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