I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
