i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize