The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
