I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
