She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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