New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
