I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
