We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
