But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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