we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you didnt know i had herpes?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
