You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
