margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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