Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
