I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
