That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
