But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
