Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
