used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
