if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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