This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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