When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
