so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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