Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
