i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
