we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
