Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to calm my uterus...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
