I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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