After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
