Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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