Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
