what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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